Elliott Joshua’s Birth Story
Born At Home
May 15, 2005, Midnight Exactly
7 pounds 15 ounces, 21 inches
On Thursday, May 12 at about 9:30 in the morning I had been sitting here at the computer and stood up and felt my pants were wet. I couldn’t be too sure where it had come from, though, since a little while before I had been sitting on the edge of the tub with Margie. Still, I think I would have noticed that when I got up from the tub, not later on. I waited to see if anything else would happen – to see if it was my water that had broken. But nothing did happen. In the afternoon I called Vickii to see what she had to say and she said it might be the water or it could even have been urine (if the baby moved and put pressure on the bladder it’s not uncommon for very pregnant women to have incontinence problems without even noticing). Anyway, she told me to keep an eye on my temperature and that if it was my water, labor would probably start in 24 hours.
It didn’t.
Saturday morning, May 14th, Alex, Margie and I went out to the mall and picked up Margie’s three year birthday portraits and just walked around a bit. We came home and I took a nice nap. About 5:45 Alex left because he had to pick something up for his work. At about 6pm or maybe even 6:15 I got up to make Margie and I peanut butter sandwiches and as I stood there at the toaster, I felt a definite gush of fluid. I went to the bathroom and emptied my bladder to be sure, but as I went back to finish the sandwiches, I felt several more gushes. I called Alex to let him know b/c his work would need a contingency plan for Sunday morning’s delivery if this was going to be labor. Then I waited to see what would happen.
I don’t remember for sure what time everything happened but I’m guessing about 6:45 or so I started feeling some contractions, although they weren’t much stronger than braxton-hicks at the time. I think I must have called Vickii at about 7:15 to let her know what was going on and to ask her how women usually deal with the constant gushing of the waters (which was really annoying). When I talked to her I was guessing the contractions were about 5-7 minutes apart. I also called my aunt LuAnne who was going to be in charge of Margie during the birth. Vickii called back a few minutes later and reminded me to plan to go to bed about 10pm or so – a “normal” bedtime anyway. While on the phone with her I told her the contractions were closer together already, I guessed about 2-3 minutes (I think). Alex came home and gave Margie a bath and put her to bed around 8pm. We started watching a Netflix DVD (Pauly Shore is Dead) and I got maybe 5 minutes into it before I couldn’t concentrate on it anymore. Alex started lighting candles all over the house and I got on my knees and leaned on and rocked on the birth ball during contractions.
I think it must have been about 9:15 or so that I had Alex call Vickii to come over. She spoke to me and I told her I felt shaky and it was freaking me out. Also that the contractions were giving me very little rest in between. She said she’d be on her way in about 7 minutes and I remember feeling rather alarmed because in my last birth it took her over an hour to get to my house so I figured she must have heard something in my voice that told her to hurry. It occurred to me that some of these feelings (contractions on top of each other, shakiness) were associated with transition, but I was still trying to remember that my last labor started out pretty hard and then eased up and lasted 30 hours.
Alex and I went in the bedroom and I dealt with contractions while he prepared the room; cleaned off the dresser and stuff. I kept a vague eye on the clock and each contraction was about a minute apart. My aunt arrived and shortly afterwards so did Vickii. It was about 9:45 I think. All I wanted to do was go to sleep for a bit. I felt tired, but not so much physically as just plain sleepy. Vickii started unpacking her supplies and setting things up. She told me she forgot her Doppler but that Jennifer would be bringing hers so in the meantime she wanted to get a baseline heart rate for the baby but she’d have to use the fetoscope and so I should think about laying down when I felt I could. Ugh. She ended up having someone bring hers by, though… I think maybe she was afraid Jennifer wouldn’t make it on time since she lives way out in the mountains. Anyway heart rate was good and remained so during the labor.
I asked Vickii (knowing full well she can’t predict the future, but also knowing the she’d rushed over for a reason) how much longer it would be. She told me that she never, never tells a mom when the baby will come, but that my baby would be here on May 14th. She said that she had known when she talked to me earlier that I wouldn’t be going to bed at 10 that night but she had to tell me anyway. I felt a relief knowing that it wouldn’t continue like this for 30 hours at least. I also told her about this time that I was sometimes feeling kind of pushy and she said she knew.
The next bit is kind of a blur, but I labored in the bedroom for awhile. At some point Jennifer did arrive. I was being pretty vocal and rather loud and it was surprising to me that Margie didn’t wake up. Around this time, I suppose, I began pushing. Vickii and Jennifer were breathing along with me and Jennifer was making low noises – I’m not sure if it was her cues or just a coincidence but at that time I let out a loud, low roar while I pushed and that felt great. At some point Vickii listened for the baby again and commented that I had really moved him/her down and that was a relief to hear because I couldn’t feel a difference. I think it was about this time that Vickii suggested waking Margie. She also suggested that I try to empty my bladder so I moved off to the toilet, complaining all the way because I didn’t want to go anywhere. As I did, I commented that I could still walk fine so the baby couldn’t be too low yet (I remembered the walk from bedroom to bathroom while in the pushing stage with Margie and how odd it felt).
As much as I complained about the toilet, once there I wouldn’t move – of course. I kept making those low and loud sounds all the time. The feelings were really quite intense this time and the contractions still hurt whereas with Margie’s birth I remember that they didn’t. I was really feeling like I couldn’t do this – it was so much harder than my other birth, but they encouraged me and what other choice did I have? Heh. During this time Margie was in the living room with my aunt and I could hear her chattering away.
Suddenly, during one contraction I hopped off the toilet and took off my pants, which had been around my knees. I think I was leaning on the counter and then on Alex while pushing. I tried feeling for the baby a couple of times but it felt odd and I’m not sure what I felt – maybe his arm? I let go of Alex and grabbed on to the counter again and sat in a squat for a while and then ended up on my hands and knees, facing the hallway.
I was feeling really scared about now because of the intensity and pain involved and I told the midwives often and loudly how I felt, heh. They encouraged me and said I was doing a great job. I flatly denied those claims. I asked Vickii if it would stop hurting when the baby came and she said yes. I think I was kind of panicky because Jennifer began breathing with me again and that helped me calm down. They told me to relax and let my body push the baby out. By now Margie was in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet so she could watch. They told me what they could see – eyebrows, nose… Before his chin was out he had already started talking. They later told me he was born with his hand and arm up by his head just like Margie. Silly C****** children! I think they wiped his mouth off and there was a pause during which I asked if I could be done now and Vickii said I could gently push out his body. So I did. And it felt very odd to become suddenly empty and feel him slide out. I don’t remember feeling anything like that with Margie.
It was 12:00 midnight exactly when he was born, proving the midwife one minute wrong about his birth date being May 14th.
Vickii told me to reach down for my baby and I did and lifted him to my chest. This must sound weird but it was almost a surprise to be holding a baby suddenly. Pregnancy and labor are just so surreal to me until the baby is there and reality shines through. It was beautiful to hold him. They started rubbing him with the towel because he wasn’t breathing right away but he started and it was ok. I was a little alarmed for a minute but his apgar later was 8 so they must not have been too worried. As I switched positions with him, I took a peek and saw he was a boy! That worked out just as I’d have liked it to – that I got to hold him and see him for a bit before really knowing who he was.
After a few minutes we made the trek to the bedroom. It took three of us to get me there. I laid down and, honestly, I don’t remember what happened next. A few minutes later I started nursing him – Vickii said his breathing sounded kind of gurgly and that nursing would help. And it did – quickly! He latched on perfectly, too. Margie nursed for a bit, right alongside her brother. I pushed out the placenta at some point, which is always annoying – you think all the pushing work is done and then there’s this, still. But it’s easier, of course, and went well.
They looked over the placenta and it looked great. Alex cut the cord. The midwives took the placenta and made my shake which was really, really delicious! I had to ask them if they’d even put any placenta in it because I couldn’t taste it. They also made me a peanut butter sandwich, which I shared with Margie while they did Eliott’s newborn exam. He weighed 7lb 15oz and was 21 ¼ inches long. His apgars were 8, 10 and 10 and his gestational age was determined to be 40 weeks although his ears did appear kind of “young”.
After his exam was taken care of, they took a look at me and found I had no tears, only a few skidmarks. They helped me into the shower, which felt just great. I got out and found some clothes for the baby and we started getting ready for bed. The midwives cleaned up and gave me the info I needed to know and then left. I think it was after 3am when they left. My family cuddled into bed together for the night.
